Friday, 24 June 2016

Keep Calm and Do NOT fear

I guess there'll be countless versions of this sort of blog post, and of course there would be.
Today appears to be one of those unusually significant days of change. Yet history shows numerous versions of these kind of days.

I don't think I could have known, even with all the facts, the best way to vote in the decision to whether the UK stays in the EU or not. So in a way, I don't think it matters to share which way I voted. That said, the way things have turned out means that today has a different feel.

People seem to be feeling fear and unrest.
I'm doing alright though. And here's why.

My home is heaven. When I chose to follow Jesus I acknowledged my true home which is with God; the One who created everything. And so any country I live in is seen in its temporal setting.
I still see myself as European and part of Europe I suppose regardless of voting outcomes.

What happens onwards from today, I guess we don't know. But fear isn't going to do anything helpful. So let's tally ho and pack up our troubles in our old kit bag and give 'em to Jesus.

Ok?

Good.

God is still on His throne.

Tuesday, 21 June 2016

The Burn

Burn 24/7. A strong title. Sometimes comprehended in mixed ways by those harbouring hurt and misunderstandings, but in its simplicity is paralellic to the vast and crazy expressions of love e.g. "I burn with a passion for you!" or "i'm enflamed with an obsession of love!!!" What are known often as 'burns' (as far as those connected with the Burn 24/7 movement) are gatherings of folk filled with a love for Jesus, and who are raising up a song of love to Him as our Lord and Saviour.

I found myself hosting a 'burn' in Reading for just over a year. I never really wanted to lead anything though if i'm honest. Having reluctantly ran my Uni christian union for a year where it seemed nobody else would, I somehow stumbled across a similar situation with the Burn.

I was waving cars off at the end of David's Tent festival, smiling with tired eyes to the buzzing wanderers, when a friend paused his car and said "let's have a burn in Reading!". Having seen so many people start with an idea and then drop it quickly for something else, I responded with excitement but within held myself back. If this was something I was going to do, I wanted to really commit and run with it well.

The weeks went on and I kept wondering. For that past year I had wanted to do something new, step out in a fresh way, and was praying that God would show me what to do but I heard nothing specific. I wondered whether this 'burn' idea was His doing, as far as Him wanting me to step out in faith and 'have a go'. In amongst those thoughts I also realized that I had long dreamt & yearned that Reading would have a 24/7 Prayer Room open for public use. I'd heard since that dream of the 'Boiler Room' which had been something like that connected with 24/7 Prayer, but if it still existed in any form today, it was hidden from all social media and obvious church connections. I googled quite a bit!

As an idea started to birth, I realized that I really wanted to see a cross church worship thing in Reading. Something that was free, not restricted or owned by one church, and something of a monthly space to praise Jesus as God together vocally, with shouts, words, dance, song and art.

I'd experienced one expression of prayer in the monastic way of quiet contemplation, and found it a helpful guide to interacting with God in the day. But 'burn', and my heart for praise particularly, was more about a coming together of Jesus followers to vocally raise up praise to Him. Regardless of whether people could sing or dance or not. Just to say or shout or sing or express "You ARE worthy!"

So. I took a step.

Meetings were had. Vision was shared. Administrative niggly bits were embraced. Marketing and social media and all sorts.

We launched using a downstairs room of a church on the Oxford Rd in Reading. Lots of things went a bit 'wrong' and I had a revelation on the cost of leadership in the kingdom. The room was fairly packed and some kind friends (and friends of friends) helped lead the sets. A lady unhelpfully started telling me lots of negative stuff that evening (you know the kind; the highly spiritual 'intecessory' lady who thinks shes being helpful because she's sharing everything she knows because she's so spiritually aware). It was distracting and rather depressing and I couldn't feel Gods prescence. Which was weird for me. Like really weird. And everyone around me seemed to be digging the whole evening. Which was good, and encouraging.

After that very intensive night, so much energy being put into plugging this launch, I realized that this was a marathon and not a sprint, and woops how on earth do I sustain this kind of cray cray marketing epicness every month. I mean. I had a day job. And little to none money to spend. And it turns out, that most churches we found charged money to hire out a room for a few hours to sing to Jesus in. Let alone the dream of 24hrs a month. And i was not getting paid by anyone to do this. It was coming out of me and my friends bank account. So we had to really want to do this.

Some twists and turns occurred and my friend had life stuff that changed some things, which meant the 2 1/2 of us running the Burn were down to 1. I wanted to see what would happen if I kept going and if there was any other crazy locals who had caught this vision of praising Jesus for innumerable hours, and I found some.

The Burn in Reading that year ranged from mini burns in a closet sized 24/7 prayer room with a 2 people, to 7 of us from different churches in a HUGE town centre church that cost too much to mention, to perhaps 30 people coming in and out of a 12hr burn that October. These were not meetings to encounter God (though we often experienced very profound deep moments together with the Lord). First and foremost the standing together praising Jesus regardless of whether we felt like it or not, this was something entirely helpful; theologically, experientially and spiritually. Isn't He worthy of praise whether we feel the tingle of delight from Him, the wordless holiness of His face or not? And yet we welcome the hunger to meet with Him profoundly. We're not anti-hunger, merely pro-praise.

I remember praising Jesus at burns in a Brethren church, Anglican churches, Non-Denominational, a 24/7 Prayer Room, a friends house and my own house.

Having realized that alot of admin went into sustaining this, at the very least the booking of a venue, finding people to play (who also actually loved Jesus and got the vision of just praising Him because He's worthy- not a performance and not 'trying' to lead but leading by actually praising in worship), letting people know, and planning the next place so that people would know where it would be next month...and that was the minimum...I found things hard to sustain just me. It wasn't that there weren't people to help or willing to pitch in. But as far as someone else who really got the vision and was carrying it with a commitment to doing it each month, I was still in hope that i'd find that person/those persons. :)

I carried this for a year and due to burn out paused the public burns in Reading, in the realization that I can't (nor do I want to) do this if it's not an expression of family, and the hope that someone would appear and pick up where I left off. I also had felt the Lord speak to me about moving to Oxford for a year (though i was quite argumentative in this suggestion). And so I ended up in Oxford, and started helping out a little with the Burn there.

I went through a period of thinking running with the Burn in Reading had been such a waste (of time, energy and money) and that God hadn't really told me to do it specifically. However since those thoughts He reminded me that I did in fact count it an act of worship to sacrifice to much for Him, and so did He, even though nobody else knew or few saw the sacrifice. And even though hundreds didn't come and barely any of the pastors I spoke to seemed interested in such a thing, still it was something the Lord counted as precious to Him and that it was bringing change in Reading. So I took His correction and carried on with life transitions & the drama of the Oxford journey.

And just recently, not that I assume any or much correlation, I heard of hundreds in Reading coming to Jesus in intrigue, delight and wonder. And it makes me wonder....