2011 Powerful experiences

So much has changed this year. On the one hand this season of life at the moment seems tough and I am finding a few things quite frustrating, but, on the other hand, I think I'm coming to a place of honesty with God.

At the beginning of this year a man who has connections with a well known church in Northern California came to my church and spoke. He picked out quite a few individuals from the crowd, including a close friend of mine, and told them about where they were in their life, and things that he felt God wanted to encourage them in and things that were on their heart. I was amazed at how God really does know us completely and speaks to us, sometimes we listen, and I was powerfully impacted that day and for weeks after, being so consciously aware of the reality of Gods love for me and full of a healthy fear/reverence for Him.
Near the end of this year I was in Winchester at a meeting at a church where we sang songs of praise to God for a few hours and the couple that were helping lead this were a godly couple from that same church in Northern California. Before we left to drive to Winchester I had been praying with a friend about holiness, the wonder of God, friendships and being sensitive to the Holy Spirit of God. Near the end of our time at that meeting in Winchester the couple on stage shared a number of words they felt God wanted to speak to people on- the lady sang a song that was to do with holiness, and she shared a story from her life and spoke about being sensitive to the Holy Spirit. She also felt that God wanted to speak to people about friendships (what she said was almost word for word what was on me and my friends hearts as we prayed beforehand!). And then the ladys husband spoke about the wonder of God. All 4 of those things that me and my friend had prayed about that same day. I am not lying about this. This is fact, this is true. There is no such thing as coincendence. Things like this have happened in my life so often that it would be foolish, idiotic and just plain thick of me to ignore.

So. God is real, He is interested in your life and He speaks in different ways. Some people hear His voice audibly, others hear Him through other people, in the bible....He is quite diverse. He loves you and has a plan for you and is faithful. If you have questions about suffering and are angry with God then I urge you to talk to Him about it. Just get by yourself somewhere and talk/shout/rant freely. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you, ask Jesus to show you who He really is. And, listen. He loves you because He loves you because He loves you.

Songwriting Journey

I am, or rather I have, embarked on a voyage of musically creative discovery.

There's lots to say on the christian music scene, but as for me, i'm on a journey- finding out my niche..as it were.
So far i've written 5 or so worshippy/meditative overtly christian songs and 3 or 4 not so overtly christian songs. I mean, technically it's not possible for me to write non-christian music, seeing as I am one!

I have discovered something important to this songwriting malarkey and that is this: don't try to be somebody else. Comparing myself and trying to be something i'm not musically seems a waste of time. It appears to me that it is more productive to go with the flow and grow!

Love, it can be hard. but yet it is very simple.

I read something profound that Jesus said this morning (I read it this morning).


"Jesus replied 'Love the LORD your God with all you heart and with all your soul and will all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment . And the second is like it- 'Love your neighbour as yourself' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these 2."


So. it's really quite simple. Love God with everything you've got and love your neighbour as yourself.

Lately I have been finding it challenging because I have been faced with people who do not respect or like me, people who speak negatively about me to my face and behind my back. It has been a rude awakening! My first response when I discovered this was to think 'justice must be done- i must defend myself and make them see it's not my fault, or show them how amazing I really am'. *rolls eyes*

Taking this up with my Special Wise Loving Friend, He revealed that this came out of a place of wanting approval, wanting to be liked by everyone. So, something of fear of man. That sucked to hear! I was forced to think about how I was going to respond when I come across people that badmouth me to my face or behind my back, those who accuse me of anything. I have to make a choice to love them, to show them respect even if they don't respect me.

It is becoming more apparent as this country more openly rejects holiness that being a christian is not all sunshine and daisies. There are many followers of Jesus all over the world that honour God in their faithfulness to Him when they are faced with the options of reject Jesus or choose death. It should be of no surprise then that people will mock us or badmouth us or spread lies about us.

So, in conclusion. Yeah, it sucks when people badmouth us, I don't enjoy it, but it is a great opportunity to choose to honour Jesus and love these people and be humble and accept correction, and to forgive.
And in amongst the midst of theological confusion and complexities- it is really quite simple. Love God, love your neighbour. Simples. :)

Words Tongue Power

From the Proverbs written by King Solomon chapter 18 verse 21
 "Words kill, words give life;
   they're either poison or fruit—you choose."


I've been thinking about how the tongue has the power to bless or to curse. Ponder with me, if you will. Meditate on the above verse from Proverbs if you feel so moved...

Thankfulness

Not long ago, I was on a blog ( http://benijohnson.blogspot.com/ check out the April 8th 2011 entry). From reading about the list of 1,000 things to be thankful for I decided to take up the challenge!

Since then I have only made it to 300 things to be thankful for (and have missed the past couple of weeks!), and I have repeated myself quite a few times. I have noticed so far that the main things I mentioned were to do with food, music and things that impact ME and affect ME.

After hitting the 300 mark I thought back on how, apart from 2 points, the rest of the 'thankfulness' points were to do with things that i'm thankful for in MY life. I have been thinking it would be a good exercise to be deliberately thankful for things in other peoples lives, for example- thanking God for my friend Edd who is growing in a gift for teaching and evangelism, thanking Jesus for blessing my musical friends with success in various spheres.

To be honest, I think this is a helpful & important key for when we come across seasons of life when others seem to be getting promoted and gaining victory in areas that we are so desparate to get promoted and gain victory in. The temptation is to agree with thoughts of jealousy and let that affect our hearts and lives, but we can choose to be thankful to God for blessing these people and let go of any bitterness. Even when it's hard, surely we can do that?

I hope this post has been helpful and loving. Let me know if not.

Testify!

Here lies a compiled list of various websites/blogs of Treasure Hunting going on around the place. Just because.

the North
http://somethingpersonal.typepad.com/treasure_hunters_journal/

Midlands
http://wendymann-life.blogspot.com/
http://www.new-lifechurch.co.uk/events/hit-the-streets-rushden/story-wall/

Kent
http://mfctreasurehunters.blogspot.com/

London
http://www.jesusonthestreets.co.uk/testimonies/blog

Snippets from my life

Snippets

• When but 1 year old, God rescued me from dying of Pneumonia.
• When I was 7 years old God provided a friend for me when I was lonely.
• When I was around 13 years old God saved me from drowning in the Dordogne river in France.
• When I was 18 years old, God convicted me of my sin. I was shocked and desired to be made new.
• When I was 19 years old, I realised that during my 1st year at University, I realised the LORD God was really real, dependable, faithful and the One I could rely on above all others.
• When I was 20 years old, God healed me from depression, brought the light of Jesus into my heart and mind, and I was delivered from suicidal thoughts.
• At a point in 2010, my mind was under the impression that my heart had fallen for a guy friend of mine. One evening when I finally realised things weren't going to happen between us, I felt very sad and cried alot. Father God spoke to me clearly and told me He would restore my heart towards this guy and that I would be able to see him as a brother again. I also realised that though I was very sad and my heart did hurt, there wasn't a deep abyss in my heart as Jesus was my first love. Byebye deep lonliness! Since then, my heart towards this guy is now 100% settled and I see him as my dear brother. I do love him, but as his sister in Christ. Hurray!
• In February, this year of 2011, Jesus healed my foot from pain and stiffness and gave it strength.
• In July 2011, I realised I can dream big and am excited about getting on with my mission in life. :)

God has healed me physically and mentally, saved my life, provided for me, restored my heart, convicted me of sin, shown me a way out of sin, given me strength... King Jesus is very gracious to me. I love Him. He's got my back. Thanks big Bro :)

Listening and Obeying

Some months ago a lady who wasn't a follower of Jesus asked me to pray for her back, seeing as I'd been sharing tales with her about some people I saw God heal of physical stuff going on. So, I went to the toilet in the building we were in and cried out to God. I asked Him what I should do. Good start.

Jesus said "I only do what I see the Father doing". When praying for people, it's a very good idea to involve God and ask for His leading! We can do nothing apart from Him and He always knows best what people need.

I felt God say to me quite clearly that I should pray in a specific way, a way that I was quite uncomfortable with, a way that I had been taught not to pray when with non-Christians. Not a bad way though, let me just clarify that! (I'm deliberately withholding the specifics of this testimony because I don't want people focusing on the method.)

So, I left the bathroom and joined the lady in the room she was in, with many other of her friends curiously watching and listening. She told me to pray for her back, so I asked if I could lay hands on her, to which she said something along the lines of 'absolutely not!' So I prayed every kind of prayer I could think of, rebuking the sickness, asking God to remove it, commanding it to go, releasing peace, acknowledging I can do nothing apart from Christ...I used all the options and words I could think of to try to make the pain leave. But I felt that I really should pray in the specific way that I felt incredibly uncomfortable doing, especially in front of all these people. And you know what? I didn't do it. And there appeared to be no difference in the pain level when I asked the lady, and I felt stupid.

Alls I know for sure from this experience is that I didn't obey God when He told me to do something. It's not something I'm proud of, but I do wonder whether this lady would have been healed if I had obeyed what I felt God telling me to do. Thankfully, my God is a God of grace and I am on a journey. I really do want to be a person who obeys God when He speaks to me. 

It's one thing to hear from God, but those who listen & obey are truly wiser than those who hear from God and do not obey Him.  It's not how much you know, but it's what you do with what you do know.

Relative Truth and what it means to 'Know God'

Relative Truth


Some of the world appears to have this concept that 'truth' is relative. Meaning, your truth and my truth, though different, can coexist. This seems in my opinion to be a man-constructed abstract idea as to avoid conflict or being challenged when there are people who have different 'beliefs' or religions that people are uncomfortable with.
        When applying this stream of thought to the truth that the person Yeshua the Messiah (widely known as Jesus) claims, I wonder if it really holds up? How can all apparent truths or opinions or religions or faiths be all equally true if you are including Christianity as well.


Yeshua says of the way to Father God "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6


He does not say that he is 'a way' or 'a truth' but makes strong claims that nobody comes to Father God through any other path or teaching or person. Only through Yeshua. 


I also wonder, how can someone who believes in ideas such as survival of the fittest, that nature just has its way and runs its course, that life is just a bunch of scientific calculations without meaning- how can such things be true and yet that same person knows that suffering is wrong, that certain things are wrong or right. How can there be wrong or right in a world where nature just has its way and we just go along with it? And yet we see in the media, on social network sites, from heated debates and conversations with friends, that most people think suffering is bad.   


So if we generally, as humankind, know that suffering and pain and abuse is wrong and shouldn't be happening, perhaps we have a subconcious understanding that this world was created perfect and something must have happened at some point for it to be tainted?


Knowing GOD
In the bible, there is a hebrew word that is translated as 'know'. It is 'Yada'. Yada basically means 'to know' but depending on the context of when it is used, can have different meanings. 


יֹודֵעַ (yo-dey-ah)

This is the verb yada meaning "to know" but written in the participle form meaning "knowing" a present action. In Hebrew the verb yada means much more than to know. It means to have an intimate and interactive relationship with its subject"

It can mean giving ourselves to someone so we can engage them with our love and affection, understanding the needs of those around us and taking care of them- living out the covenantal relationship we have with the LORD in every area of our lives.

So, when we talk about 'knowing God' we are not talking about an opinion or thought of the mind. We are talking about giving ourselves to God and enjoying an intimate and interactive relationship with Him. Hope you get that.

Powerful Stories

Dear Jesus lovers including myself,

Aren't the words you speak powerful? And if they are, what does that mean for what you are saying and not saying? Solomons Proverbs chapter 18, verse 21 says 'Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits'

Don't you have authority to do what Jesus did, and a calling to do greater works than those? And if so, believe it, be encouraged and do it! :) (I say that in love and not in a condemning way) John's gospel chapter 14, verses 12 to 14 records Jesus saying "Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it."

I've known for some time now that sharing stories/testimonies really builds faith and inspires and encourages and is generally pretty darn powerful. In terms of how testimonies have impacted me, I remember in a job I had last year where i'd intentionally watch videos of people getting healed of stuff every day, or i'd read every day something that God had done for someone. I remember particularly at the time I saw many legs growing out on different people that were recorded and posted online. (fyi: 1 leg that was shorter than the other growing out instantly to match the other)

As a result of this, I had a desire to see this happen for myself, to get the opportunity to command a leg to grow out in the name of Jesus! I remember asking around at church a few different people to see if anyone had a leg shorter than the other, but didn't find anyone (though I didn't look as hard as I could have!). I ended up joining some guys from a Vineyard church in Reading (either last year or the year before, can't quite remember when!) We were outside M&S and there was an older lady with us who had back pain & a leg that was shorter than the other. So much so that she had something with her shoe that would make them match up. Got my opportunity! So she sat on the chair with her back and hips straight and took her legs and checked the length. Yep, indeed, one leg was shorter than the other. Thanked God that He loved her and asked Him to come do His thing :) Then told the leg to grow out in Jesus name. And it did! Woop! She still had backpain so we prayed against that and she was healed and able to move about in a way she hadn't been before. 

It was a privilege that I was able to 'have a go', having watched it happen in youtube-land and getting hungry for such things happening in my own sphere of existence.

I also wanted to share with you today some inspiring videos (1 interview in 3 parts) that some of you may have seen already. It's of a bloke called Todd who loves Jesus and who inspires me to get radical and always 'keep the love on'!

Todd White's interview part 1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFzUwO4_6no

Todd White's interview part 2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRtt2zi49do&feature=related

Todd White's interview part 3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoQx-_nvGEc&feature=related

FP Impact Year 2008/09

The Newfrontiers family of churches have an internship programme called 'FP Impact' which involves working for a local church whilst attending a theology course at a base centre. It is for those who are 18+ years old and there are various bases around the UK. It's essentially a 'working-for-the-church gap year'.

I started my FP year at the end of 2008 until summer 2009. When I started the FP course, I did not even realise how changed I would be by the end of the year. At the time, I was part of a small church plant in Cardiff and had been going there for about 2 or 3 years. As far as I can recall, at the beginning of my FP year, I was starting to hear about Bethel church in Redding California and was very excited and encouraged and blown away by what was going on there as i'd not heard of anything like that before. I also began hearing interesting things about the church in Toronto, Kansas City and Mozambique. (TACF, IHOP & Iris Ministries)

During that year I went to various conferences in which I saw people getting healed of different problems, encountering the fragrance of God, powerful visions, angelic activity and many positive and challenging viewpoints from different types of churches. I also got to go to some Newfrontiers prayer and fasting conferences that were huge and inspiring.

This is an excerpt from Feb 2009 of my first memorable encounter at a conference in Cardiff where there was no hype and people were just getting healed. The Prescence of God felt peaceful and weighty and I smelt incense when no incense had been burning. "Last week was a very significant week in my life.
So much happened last week that i couldn't quite find the words to describe what happened and i'm still not sure what i'm supposed to share and not share on here. I just knew i wanted to explain what happened to some extent.

On Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday i was at a conference that was on at city temple church with a guest speaker from California called Bill. I haven't seen a preacher/speaker quite like him before, and had heard people raving about him lots before. So i was a little on the defensive when i saw him, as i was concerned there was something dangerous going on people kept talking about him so much.
Anyhoo, so having seen him speak on those 3 days i can totally see where people are coming from now, as God really really used him. His teaching was really meaty, proper good biblical truths, completely centred around Jesus and he was preaching and teaching from experience, not theory. We want all preachers and teachings in the church to be like that!!

I mean, basically, it was not the bill show at all but it was the God Show. 95 people got healed on Wednesday evening of various things; backs, legs, knees, ankles, heads, thumbs, shoulders, coxixs, eyes, hips, necks....etc And alot of these that got healed weren't even prayed for (God doesn't need us to heal people, He just likes to involve us sometimes). There were about 4 people at the front and would say stuff like "i got a word from God for a right hip, dry socket. i'm not sure what that means" and the person would stand up and the guy at the front would say "ok, check it out, do something you couldn't do before". Specifically, this woman with the 'dry socketed right hip' who came in with a walking stick ended up after 10-15mins of trying her legs out pretty much jogging around the room and up and down the stairs!

Another person on stage got a word for 'right ankle' or right foot or something like that, and this woman near me gasped. So they asked her to stand and she did and the person at the front said "ok, check out your foot/leg it should be healed" so the woman checked it out and burst into tears and said "i've had pain in my right foot/leg for 2 years and ....there's no pain!"
There were loads of people like that, it's one thing to hear testimonies of these things happening but quite another to see them happening to normal people in front of your eyes! And the wonderful thing which i noticed quite strongly, was the lack of hype. There was absolutely no hype. it was just normal. They didn't try to make more of what was going on by exaggerating stuff, it was just so normal and honest."

Then in March I went to Mexico for a week. I'll be honest, my heart still feels like it's there and I get excited and reminisce whenever I met Mexicans! I met many groups of christians that were so beautiful in heart and spirit, and I saw God heal people and pour His love out on them. It was such a privilege to go to the church in a village outside of Guadalajara, in amongst some brick fields. It may not have looked like much to the natural eye, but the church there is a glorious, shining city on a hill that has and will continue to attract people to it! I did not know much Spanish at all, but though there was a language barrier, it was obvious to see God doing amazing things there and 2 years later I still want to learn Mexican and go back!

When I got back from Mexico, I found out that my Nanny had passed away. I did not know her as well as I would have liked and had but a few memories of her making marvellous christmas meals, watching The Borrowers BBC series at hers and playing on a bear-shaped rope-swing in her garden. It was the first close death I experienced and I don't really know if i've grieved to be honest. The funeral was the 2nd i'd been to, and it felt strange to be at her graveside, awkwardly throwing in flowers with an unresonant thud.

So that year was a mammoth year in terms of experiencing and witnessing all kinds of new things, some stinkin' exciting and others stinkin' challenging. The challenge for this time 2 years on is to keep the wonder and awe of what Jesus is up to and not cease to be amazed at His wonderful grace and beauty.

Are we following Him today?

When I was 14 I was quite smug in the fact that I did well in Religious Studies, that is, I could recite bible stories and did well in the section about Christianity. That said, I don't remember doing so well in remembering facts about old Anglican church buildings and the different areas they have. Anyhow, I was still internally pretty stoked that I knew Christianity. I went to the Christian Union that met in a Science room at a lunchtime and called myself a 'Christian' at that point. Whether I was or not I'll go into later. (For reference sake, when I use the term 'Christian' I mean someone who intentionally follows Jesus the Christ)

What I remember from doing Sunday school in church, I recall learning a lot of bible stories but I cannot say for sure whether I was listening with my heart or my head. What I do know is that whilst learning the things that happened to Gods people that were recorded in the Bible, my mindset having accumulated that information was one of pride and a false belief that knowing the facts of history was enough. There is knowing stuff, but then there should be a response. In one sense, I did not know any better, and yet, according to my parents, I said a prayer to Jesus a couple of times when I was very young, asking Him into my heart. Whilst that may be true, I did not live a life submitted to Jesus. I stole, I got drunk, I cut myself, I was full of pride, I was arrogant, I was attention seeking, I did not honour men nor myself. 

Did then my prayer have any power? Did it mean anything? Maybe God honoured that simple prayer said by a child, I don't know. This I do know though, I have known Gods protection over my life, as I look back on times where my life was in danger, or where I could have been in greater darkness and despair. I have been very blessed to have grown up in a Christian home, and my parents church family, I am certain, have been praying for me since they knew I was to be born and through all of my life. So, I have known something of the effect of the power of prayer in that respect.

But then, when did I become a Christian? Well, I'm not entirely sure I can even pinpoint a day or time. Perhaps that is an unhelpful question. Should we have the mindset that becoming a Christian is a one time happening event and then we sit happy in life and nothing else happens until we die and go to heaven?

I think, rather, that following Jesus needs to be a daily thing. I imagine it this way- Jesus called people to drop what they were doing and follow Him, and many did. But each day they have a choice to continue to follow Him or not. I don't think it makes their initial following of Jesus null and void, but everyday there is that option of accepting or rejecting Jesus. And, when you fall in love with someone, or when you get to know someone amazing, you don't easily leave them, do you? Same goes for Jesus, who embodies TRUE LOVE itself and is amazing!

I don't mean to make this sound trite or not serious, it's not like we should yo-yo from following Jesus to not every other day, but there will be a day when Jesus will return in full glory on clouds and all of creation will bow before Him (for how can anyone do anything else when they see the face of the LORD!), and, not knowing when He will come back, we must be ready to meet our Maker, because we will all be judged.

That may make you feel uncomfortable or angry, but it being an uncomfortable thing isn't the issue. The issue is, is it true? [Here's a quote I like: God comforts the disturbed and disturbs the comfortable.]

So, are we going to choose to follow Jesus today? Today, are we going to follow the One who said "If you've seen me, you've seen the Father"?

A Real Redeemer

I have felt challenged or impressed upon to think about 'real' ways in which Jesus the Godman has impacted my life.

At the Dedication service of my birth when I was around one month old

"In this service of  Dedication we are to give thanks to God, the Maker of all things, the giver of all life, for the creation and birth of L. We have not come to formally give this child a name, nor to bring her into the Christian faith, for that is something she must decide for herself at a later stage...

Heavenly Father, you have heard the solemn undertakings we have made in Your Presence. We ask for grace and strength to keep them, to the blessing of L, for whom we now pray. Keep her under Your Fatherly care and protection; may she grow in wisdom as in stature, with body and mind and spirit under Your especial care. Enrich her with Your heavenly grace; bring her safely through the perils of childhood and the temptations of youth; protect her from all evil. Lead her in due time to put her faith and trust in our Lord Jesus Christ, and to perservere therein to lifes end."

• When I was a baby, i caught Pneumonia and the doctors didn't pick it up until i'd visited them for the 3rd time, at which point i was rushed to the hospital and put in the childrens ward. To quote my parents, I was like a 'ragdoll' and was literally fading to death, but by the grace of God He brought me safely through that particular peril in my childhood.
• When I was 7, feeling friendless, lonely and in need of a close companion, my mum encouraged me to pray, to ask God to send me a friend. In that scholastic year, a new girl moved to the area and joined my class and we became best friends. She actually had quite a large impact on my walk with God, being a person I looked at when I was 18 and realised that I had wandered far from the person who I once was, or wanted to be.
• When I was 18, I was at a place with alcohol that was exceedingly unhelpful. I had by this point dated lots of guys and my heart was in tatters. I was not treated with the respect that men should treat women, but i also did not treat them with respect either and often used my looks and charm to manipulate. I would have said I was a christian but my life did not say so. I was also suffering from depression and was cutting myself. I kind of made a deal with God the morning after my 18th birthday party, well not a deal so much, I just said to Him that I wouldn't drink in my freshers week when I went to Uni. Since then, during the student years, my getting-drunk episodes got less and less frequent and i've been single for the past 5 years (which is a good thing, as my heart has been healed!)
• When I was 20, having suffered from a depression that was like a black cloud in my head for as long as I could remember, it was November 2006 and God met with me by His Holy Spirit. (bear in mind I did not ask for a baptism in the Holy Spirit) I asked Father God to show me if it was Him or not because I thought I was going nuts. I ended up having a shower/bath that to me signified my sins/mess/rubbish being washed away. Two bible verse references clearly came to my head as I asked God to show me if it was Him, 1 of which was from a part of the bible I hadn't yet read. They said "God said to me/The Word of the Lord came to me". I knew that the Word of the Lord is Jesus. I realised as I read those verses that the black cloud of depression was gone. I was healed! I count that day as my baptism in the Holy Spirit, which for me did not come by the laying on of hands, nor was I particularly thinking about God at that point either! That's just how it happened with me.
• Feb 18th 2011 I fell over at work and hurt my foot. The morning of Feb 19th I was limping and my foot was stiff and in pain. Some followers of Jesus prayed over me, telling the pain to go. By the 3rd time they prayed, there was more freedom of movement and I wasn't limping anymore. By the end of the day, foot was as normal. 
• I do not suffer from suicidal thoughts now. I don't cut myself or self harm. I don't feel a deep loneliness anymore, nor does my heart feel like it's in tatters. I don't have an issue with alcohol anymore. I have this peace that passes understanding. I don't get everything right, nor is my whole life sorted. But I have been changed, looking back at who I was, and I will go on being transformed thanks to the grace and power of my Lord Jesus Christ.

Thankyou Baba God. X